A WHOLE NEW HIP

Following the hip surgery of a fellow coworker, this song was my "Best Wishes - Happy Healing" gesture to him.  His surgery was successful and he's still learning to walk on it but he resents the fact that he can't do backflips anymore.  For now. 

“A WHOLE NEW HIP” (sung to the tune of “A Whole New World” from Disney’s Aladdin)

 

Tom has got a new hip

Damage was worse than first thought

Tell me, Fannon, will your hip move

much better than it ought?

 

Mi-cro-frac-turing done

Had to Google what that was

Sounds like something you do to

release gases from the ground [nevermind, that’s ‘fracking’]

 

A whole new hip!

A new fantastic way to move

Now you can touch the floor

It's not a chore

For you to tie your shoes

 

A whole new hip!

A feeling you so seldom knew

But it’s so crystal clear

You’ll need a beer

When you can walk again with your new hip

 

Far inadequate drugs

Indescribable feelings

Soreness, stiffness and reeling

Through an endless sleepless night

 

A whole new hip!

(Can you come back to work?)

A hundred hours you’d like to sleep

(Hurry up and get better)

Would you like to show your scar?

Let’s hit the bar…

You can't go back to where you used to be

 

A whole new hip!

(Worst Hip…in The Top 3!!!)

The doctors say you should not move

(It’s his crowning achievement)

 

But I'll push you anywhere

I just don’t care

I’ve had a thing for wheelchairs for a while

 

A whole new hip

(A whole new hip)

You’re finally free

(You’re finally free)

 

Out of that place

You made your case

Just wait and see